As an introvert, small talk has never come easy for me. I enjoy watching the occasional football or basketball game. Still, I can’t talk at length about the recent trades or injuries.
And the latest on TV or streaming shows? Nope, I’m lost. I don’t say this to boast, for if anything, it’s hindered me in quickly finding common ground in the break room.
Last year, I caught a ride home with a coworker who lived nearby. At one point, I asked bluntly, “So do you like astronomy?” “Oh, I love it!” she replied, and then we went on to talk about astronomy apps that let you see what’s beyond the sky.
That was lucky. Jumping into a conversation with no small talk is like jumping out of a plane without a parachute; chances are it will fall flat.
I used to resist because I felt an inner conflict. It was authenticity vs. trying to be somebody I’m not. I condemned small talk for its banality. But that’s like convicting can-openers or toilet plungers for being dull. We need commonplace things to make life easier, and small-talk is no exception.
Small talk is more than just pleasantry. It is about potential. Sometimes an acknowledging smile and a few pleasantries can be the beginning of turning around a tough morning. As Aesop said, “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted."
I don’t have a grand strategy for small talk. I smile. I ask, “What’s been the best part of your week so far?” Or “What excites you these days?” I am genuine and leave it to them to share what they want. It’s a step in the right direction.
I’ve had it backward for so long. You start with banality and then ascend, reciprocate, and weave together.
Small talk gets you to talk with people. And people are where the gold is.